Friday, March 11, 2011

Indecisive? Me? No Way.

Have you ever watched a shell on the edge of the beach being tumbled about by the waves... advancing toward and then receding from the shore?  The shell progresses forward, rolling over and over, only to suddenly shift directions and lose ground, regressing back into the depths.  With the next wave, the process repeats itself.  If the waves are coming hard enough, the movement appears almost chaotic.  If the poor shell had a will to get itself up onto the sand, it seemed to be losing the battle.

Well, tonight I observed a similar battle in my eldest son.  He was wrought with indecision over whether to stay home and eat dinner at home or whether to come with me to the YMCA, wait until I finished my class, and then take me out to dinner with a gift card he had won in a school contest.  He went back and forth over and over again in a chaotic painful motion.  He was torn between spending time with me, but at the risk of a boring wait and late night, and being in the comfort of his home, but at the risk of eating a dinner that wasn't his favorite.  Poor guy!

Zac comes by this indecision fairly honestly.  Just ask my husband, my sister, my mom, or anyone else who knows me well, and they will tell you that decision making is not my strong suit.  It is not as simple as that, however.  There are varying degrees of decisions that need to be made and, with that, varying degrees of decision making skill.  Some decision making is far easier for me than others.  I will, however, save that discussion for another day...maybe a rainy one.

I'm not sure why it is decision making is so difficult.  However, I have learned something over the years about this thorny process.  I do much better when I realize the following:
  1. Most often, I can make a good decision.  The outcome will be fine.  No need to panic.
  2. Most often, there are two good choices and either one can lead to a good result in my life.  Unless, of course the choice is between blatantly wrong and obviously good stuff - then, of course, there really is no decision that needs to be made.  The answer would then be clear.
  3. Most often, I will feel better once the decision is made and stuck to.
  4. Most often, everyone around me will feel better once the decision is made.
  5. If I am asking for God's input in the decision and trying to follow Him, He is likely pleased when I finally make a decision.  It means that I trust Him in my life and with the decisions I make in an attempt to honor Him.  He is big enough to help turn my decisions into good outcomes.
Tonight, in the end, Zachary chose to stay home.  Right up until I pulled away, however, he waffled in that indecision.  It was hard, painful really, to watch.  While I was away, Ken reassured him that some indecision is normal, especially at this awkward advancement of puberty.  Ken said he was relieved to hear this.  When I got home, I reassured him that I understood.  And, I told him that I knew where he got this swinging preference pendulum from.  I think he was relieved to hear this as well. 

More decisions need to be made tomorrow...and the day after that.  Hopefully he won't tumble back and forth quite as hard as he did tonight.  Hopefully along the way, he will learn some of the things I have about making those decisions.  And, hopefully, he will advance enough to grab a hold of the shore and rest for awhile with a decision that has been made.


  1. I often make the decision for someone who is in an indecision, wait a moment, and then ask, "What was your gut reaction when you heard me pick what you should choose? Use that to make your decision and then go with it, no regrets."

  2. Hmmm...interesting strategy, Joan. Maybe I need to call you up when I am in an indecision moment. Ha ha! I may have to try that with my Zac too.

  3. Kathy, you made me think of something God spoke to me about before when we were asking Him if we were to have more children. He asked me "Well, do you want to?" and I suddenly realized what it really means when we say that God wants to partner with us in our lives. He built our desires into us and wants us to pursue those desires (as long as they are right in His eyes). When we pursue the desires of our hearts, God steps along side us and blesses the decisions we make. For the record, He went on to point out to me that each child we welcome into our lives comes with challenges but also with incredible blessings and it is up to us to decide how much challenge we are willing to take on in order to increase our blessing. I think this may be applicable wisdom for you:)

  4. Thanks, Michelle. It is nice to see your footprints on a few of these posts. I love your insight and wisdom. I miss our chats, as few and far between as they were, they were always such encouragement and refreshing for me. Hope all is well with your growing family.


Share your thoughts, feelings, or your own related experiences. I love that! And, as always, thanks for stopping by!